Monday, September 23, 2013

Retiring a Journal

Yesterday, I had the privilege of retiring a journal for the first time in my life. It was 10 years + 2 days old (I was wrong about the date, should have checked first!). "Bittersweet" would be an apt description--sadness for being finished with it but happiness for having a tome detailing my life for a long span of time.

I fondly recall the day I purchased the journal. My freshman year in college at K-State, I didn't yet have a car. On game day, I set off on my bicycle to the mall. I found the ride very pleasant, since most of the town was at the football game that day. No traffic! Bliss :)
I don't recall having the intent of buying a new journal, but I do know that I certainly needed something in which to pour my feelings. At the time, I was a month into my first time ever living away from home. I found myself still getting over feelings of homesickness but also thrilled with all the possibilities of my life. Anything could happen, which is probably why I'll always look back on that year of my life as my favorite. I got out and on my own, explored the world a bit, made many new friends, met Philip, discovered new music, held my first real job, etc, etc, etc. And goodness! I had tons of boy-crushes in the months before I met Philip!

The journal is mainly based in my time at K-State, with a post or two later after we'd moved to Wichita in 2007.

It's something that Philip long ago promised he'd never read, but I think I'd want him to read through it if I should ever die first. He'd think I was such a silly girl in the time before we met, and he might cry reading entries about our early days. Lots of emotions, all different kinds, in all places of this book. I've moved on to another journal for a while now, not to mention other notebooks and the like, but this one needed some finality.

So, I took yesterday morning to write a final entry while enjoying coffee and the crisp autumn air. Like a doofus, I got all teary-eyed as I finished the entry, but I felt so much at the time! I'm looking forward to re-reading the entirety of the journal again soon. It always happens when I'm not intending to--like when looking for a book, packing to move, or anything else in the vicinity of where I keep my journals. It's always pleasant to re-read them, like saying 'hello' to a dear, old friend :)

1 comment:

  1. There is definitely somewhat of a bittersweetness in retiring a journal. I have retired many and am always glad to reread and relive those periods in my life. What adventures will your next journal hold, I wonder?